I’m sure you have heard stories of young apprentice chefs who were made to dice bags and bags of onions to ‘get over’ the effects of onions on the naked eye!  It just sounds like torture to me.
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And yes I know there are tricks:
- don’t cut the root,
- give them a wash,
- hold a slice of bread in your mouth,
- wear stupid Dame Edna goggles,
- hold your breath . . .
- blah blah blah.
I’ve tried them all and nothing works.
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So I persist and have learnt to chop quickly, in the same pattern and take comfort knowing that I’ll be frying those nasty little buggers in about 30 seconds time! Ha Ha Ha (insert evil laugh!)
However, there was one time in my life where those nasty members of the Allioideae family (yes I googled that one) actually got the better of me, I don’t think I’ll ever get over it!
It was 2018, parent teacher interviews for my youngest child. I’d booked an interview time of 5:45, closed up the shop at 5:10, ran through the supermarket to grab a few things to make a quick dinner, got home at 5:20 and started chopping ‘The Onion’.
It was a particularly powerful one, but given I was on a tight timeline, I wiped the tears and powered on. Cooked dinner, threw it in bowls, said ‘see-ya’ to the kids, left the eldest in charge and jumped back in the car to go meet the teacher. I adored this teacher, she was only a few years out of university, but caring, enthusiastic, thorough and above all things – polite! During the interview I noticed a strange smudge on my hand but didn’t think much about it. Finished the chat, said a big thank you and left feeling like my child was in good hands, it was good. Â
Got in the car and caught a quick glimpse of my forehead in the rear vision mirror, I adjusted the mirror so I could see my whole face . . . . OH MY GAWD!!!
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That cruel and powerful onion had made me cry so much that when I wiped my eyes I’d smudged my mascara ALL OVER MY FACE! And that lovely polite teacher never said a thing, didn’t even crack a smile, so I sat there throughout the whole thing looking like I’d had a hard day down a coal mine!
That cruel and powerful onion had made me cry so much that when I wiped my eyes I’d smudged my mascara ALL OVER MY FACE! And that lovely polite teacher never said a thing, didn’t even crack a smile, so I sat there throughout the whole thing looking like I’d had a hard day down a coal mine!
Damn you onions . . . my nemesis for life !
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